Catchers:

• 12662 Icarium, 30, c (285 GP, 1.1 DRAP/40, -4.9 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 13276 Harry Houdini, 22, c (57 GP, 1.8 DRAP/40, -9.8 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 13439 Taika Waititi, 19, c

Infielders:

• 13037 Jon Scheyer, 25, 1b (107 GP, 2.4 DRAP/40, -6.7 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 12261 Redfoo, 32, 2b (413 GP, 0.7 DRAP/40, 5.2 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 12850 Crone, 24, 2b (122 GP, -2.7 DRAP/40, 0.0 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 13423 Chelsea Handler, 21, 2b
• 13015 Todd Golden, 24, 3b (200 GP, 1.4 DRAP/40, -2.0 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 12623 Ryllandaras, 26, ss (205 GP, -0.6 DRAP/40, -5.3 ORAP/40)
• 13231 Sam Altman, 23, ss (84 GP, 0.6 DRAP/40, -7.4 ORAP/40) (who?)

Outfielders:

• 12422 Topper, 30, lf (495 GP, 0.5 DRAP/40, 2.6 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 12378 Tayschrenn, 30, cf (467 GP, 0.2 DRAP/40, -0.7 ORAP/40)
• 12961 Coltaine, 26, cf (232 GP, 7.5 DRAP/40, 3.6 ORAP/40)
• 12431 Baudin, 30, rf (464 GP, -0.6 DRAP/40, 0.6 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 13079 Antony Blinken, 24, rf (70 GP, -3.7 DRAP/40, -2.0 ORAP/40) (who?)
• 13348 Jerry Stiller, 19, rf (who?)

Starters:

• 11807 Petruchio, 37, sp (1930 IP, 14.2 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 13205 Steve Ballmer, 24, sp (116 IP, -14.2 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 13186 Joseph Michael Graceffa Jr, 22, sp (13 IP, -62.2 PRAA/100 IP)
• 13187 Sheryl Sandberg, 20, sp (who?)

Relievers:

• 13005 Bruce Pearl, 24, mr (218 IP, -2.2 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 13376 Jeff Goldblum, 19, mr (34 IP, -10.7 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 13340 Elliott Gould, 21, mr (who?)
• 12327 Caladan Brood, 31, rp (335 IP, 13.3 PRAA/100 IP)
• 12817 Raest, 26, rp (161 IP, 6.4 PRAA/100 IP)
• 13247 David Copperfield, 22, rp (63 IP, 6.8 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 13291 David Blaine, 22, rp (29 IP, 19.8 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 13117 Janet Yellen, 21, rp (4 IP, -5.0 PRAA/100 IP) (who?)
• 13429 Stanley Kubrick, 19, rp
• 13331 Gene Wilder, 19, rp (who?)
• 13462 Will Eisner, 21, rp